Looking Back
by Princess Linnea
Summary: ONESHOT. Serenity Skywalker visits the past and reflects on old pains that reside in her heart. PLEASE REVIEW! Please read author's note.


**A/N: This is a ONESHOT prequel to my fanfic, _The Lost Twins._ So if you intend to proceed reading this, I highly suggest you read my other story before you go on to this one or else you won't have a clue what it's about (You can find it in my profile) And to my reviewers, this happens a month before Serenity leaves for London and if you didn't read the summary, Serenity reflects on the death of a person who has left quite a big hole her life. Read to find out what happened!**

**Looking Back**

Serenity rarely ever met anyone like him. He was strong, loyal, and probably the only person who ever listened to her. And it was the reason why he was dead. It was because of his love that the person she cared most about in the world was torn away from her in an instant.

As Serenity knelt down in front of the stone-marked grave, her thoughts and memories drifted back to that fateful day that had changed her forever.

…

Luke Corelli was Logan's older brother and the person that had caused Serenity so much happiness and pain. From the moment they had met, she and Luke created a bond that few Jedi ever got to experience. For Jedi, common acquaintances were appreciated, deep friendships were cherished, and a bond of love was sacred. It was that bond that she and Luke had shared. And it was something that Serenity would never have again.

It was three years ago, just when she had graduated out of the Academy. She and Luke had been sent out on their first assignment together, out to track a mob of slave traders out in the Outer Rim Territories.

At first, Luke hadn't liked the idea of Serenity accompanying him.

"It's too dangerous! You know how it is in the Outer Rim. Nowhere is safe, and the people there are untrustworthy." Luke pleaded.

"I thought you knew me better than that, Luke. I can take care of myself." Serenity retorted hotly.

"I don't want you to come with me," said Luke.

"You think I cannot handle it?" Serenity asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Of course not, I'm just worried about your safety." He said quickly.

"I'll be safe. I've got you, haven't I?" Serenity said.

Luke flushed. "Yes but still, what if you die out there? What will I do without you?"

Serenity pressed her hand against his lips, "I won't die Luke, I promise you."

The assignment had started off pretty well, as they had their first lead on the whereabouts of the slave traders. They had followed their clues and the last step they had to do was to take over their headquarters, which was situated on top of a mountain on the ice planet of Nelvaan. After they had devised a clever plan to surround the building, they realized that they had been tricked and were bound up and captured. Now that Serenity had thought about it, she could've prevented anything from happening if only she had used her wits a little more. After they were dragged to a dungeon, the lead trader had confiscated their wands and lightsabers and any sort of equipment they had and had sneered to them that they were to be executed in a fortnight.

"On what account?" Luke had spat at him.

"Trespassing." The trader snarled.

"We have done nothing wrong!" Luke shouted.

"Out here you have no laws to protect you nor do you have any evidence to convince the court to overturn their ruling. Therefore, what they decide is final!" the trader said in a bored voice, as if he was tired of explaining all this to them.

"You—" Luke started to say but the trader gave a great bark of laughter and swept out of the room.

"This is all my fault. If only I wasn't so stupid." Luke said.

"Don't say that." Serenity said. "At least they didn't separate us. Luke, before they took my homing beacon away, I sent a distress signal. Somebody's going to come rescue us."

"They'll probably be too late. Listen, when that man comes back to take us, I'll hold him off and you run." Luke said in a hurried voice.

"And leave you behind? No, I won't." Serenity said angrily.

"I can't stand it if you die. I promised I would protect you." He pleaded.

"I do not fear death." Serenity growled.

"Then…what do you fear?" he asked. It was the first time he had ever asked her that question. In their short years together, Luke had come to the conclusion that Serenity feared nothing, and had never even thought to ask what could ever scare her.

"…A life spent alone without the person I love." She said quietly after a moment. It was a rather bold thing to say, but she meant every word of it.

Luke stared at her. He knew she meant it. He put his arms around her and held her as they waited...

Hours later, the trader had returned. He tied their hands together with metal cuffs. Luke nodded as a signal. Serenity concentrated hard and using the Force, both their lightsabers and wands jerked themselves out of the man's pocket and sliced them free. Luke kicked the man in the knees, knocking him down and drove a fist into his stomach. The man rolled over, groaning. Snatching up their wands and lightsabers, he and Serenity ran for it. Around the building, alarms rung.

As they ran through the corridors, they heard shouts outside. Dashing out of the building, they realized that they were trapped. Where would they go now? The only place to go was down the mountain or back into the building. Neither were smart choices as the mountain was steep and rugged and the building was the place they had just escaped out of.

Behind them, they heard voices and shouts. Shots were fired. Most of the blasts missed them, instead hitting the ground around them.

_Thank the lord they have such bad aim. _Serenity thought as she continually ran. To where, she did not know. All she knew was the farther they stayed from those traders, the better. Another shot rang out and Serenity collapsed. A terrible pain ripped through her side. Blood seeped through her robes.

"Serenity!" Luke cried, dropping down and crawling to her side.

Serenity felt the world go into a swirl of colors. It seemed to be in sharp focus in one second and then foggy the next. She felt Luke trying to help her up.

"Luke…" Serenity panted, blood spattering onto the snow. "Leave me. Go…"

"No!" Luke said forcefully, trying again.

A cold sneer rang out behind them. Luke whipped around.

"I told you not to run." The trader sneered aiming his blaster at Luke.

Luke stood up in front of Serenity.

"Luke, go!" Serenity screamed

_I won't let him kill you._ Luke told her with his mind quietly.

One blast rang out.

Serenity never saw Luke fall. What she did see, was a patch of red that was spreading onto the snow and…Luke, her Luke…sprawled on the ground…his eyes open and glassy.

"You bastard!" Serenity roared, igniting her lightsaber and hurled it like a boomerang at the man. It caught him in his chest. The man screamed, his cries echoing over the valley and then silence. Serenity crawled to the limp body and wrenched her lightsaber out.

She then limped back to Luke, blood now running freely out of her side.

"Luke!" she said desperately, fumbling for his hand.

She tried everything within her power to sustain Luke a bit longer, but even if she were stronger, there was little she could do. The wound had so cruelly missed his heart by a fraction of an inch.

Luke's mind touched hers. _It's no use…let me go…_

_No…please…Luke don't…_

She felt Luke's life force slip out of her grasp, try as she might to keep hold onto it.

_No! _Serenity cried in anguish.

And then, she blacked out.

…

When Serenity woke, she was in a warm bed in the Coruscant Medical center. Beside her was Mara who was looking anxious.

"Anakin, she's awake!" Mara called gently. Anakin dashed inside. Serenity tried to sit up, only to receive a jab of pain at her side. It was bound in layers of bandages.

Anakin and Mara hurriedly propped up her pillows.

"We were so afraid you weren't going to make it." Anakin said in a distressed voice.

"What happened? Where's Luke?" Serenity asked.

Anakin lowered his gaze and Serenity realized.

_He's gone._

…

A week later, a scout team was sent back to retrieve his body, but they somehow couldn't locate it.

"I'm sorry, it's just disappeared." The scout leader told them.

"Are you sure you can't find it?" Anakin asked.

"I'm sorry, sir. We've tried everything." The leader said stiffly and after bowing, retreated.

"Don't worry." Mara said quietly to Serenity. "We'll have to make do without the body."

…

_Are you okay? _Gala asked, trotting over to her. Serenity started and then winced, clutching at her side. She had just realized that a slight dull pain was throbbing through her ribs where her old blaster wound was.

Serenity breathed in deeply and the pain receded gradually.

_I'm fine…it's just been so long…_

_It still pains you? _Gala asked, concernedly.

_Only when I relive those memories, I don't know why it happens every time. _Serenity murmured quietly.

_Is there anything I can do? _Gala asked concernedly.

_No…I don't it's ever going to heal properly. Perhaps, with time, the pain might lessen. But it's nothing compared to the pain in my heart._

_Be careful not to lose yourself in your grief, Serenity. It'll destroy you. _Gala warned.

_It won't. I guess the knowledge that…that…I'll never see him again…has destroyed me already. _Serenity said quietly, standing up.

_It hasn't destroyed you. Leave the past behind and put away your sorrows. A heavy heart creates jealousy and in turn leads to darkness. I do not wish you to go toward that path. _

Serenity thought over her words. Gala had a point. Unless she didn't get a grip on herself, she'd lose everything and it would be poor payment to Luke who died to save her. _You're right, Gala. But I won't ever forget what happened. I might look past it, but it will be imbedded in my memory forever. _

_Nor should you forget it. Honor Luke's memory but do not lock yourself in a dungeon of guilt and despair. Start anew, as I have already told you._

Serenity nodded. After a moment of silence, she said _Perhaps the coming assignment might help me get away from all this. _

_Perhaps…yes…it would do you good to get away for a while. _Gala said thoughtfully. _And you would have Logan and Tru with you._

_Will you come as well? _Serenity asked

_Do you wish me to?_

_Yes._

_Very well, I shall accompany you as well so as to make sure you don't do anything rash on this assignment. Unfortunate things tend to happen when you meddle with wizards. _Gala said, chuckling slightly.

After a moment, Gala spoke again, this time seriously _You've changed._

_How so?_

_These past three years have been long and hard for you. You've suffered so much. Yet, you've matured and grown wiser since Luke's death. You would not recognize that girl you were the day you became a Jedi Knight._

Serenity smiled. She felt honored that Gala could believe in her that much.

_Thank you, for those kind words._

_They are not kind. They are the truth. _Gala corrected her.

_If you say so, _said Serenity.

_Do not think so low of yourself. _Gala chided gently.

_I don't. _After a moment's silence, Serenity said, _My dreams are getting worse, Gala. I keep thinking something terrible is going to happen._

_Don't trust your dreams. They're never accounted for._

_I know but in the dreams, it's not only that, I felt…so…so helpless, I couldn't help ease the chaos. I couldn't do anything to stop it. _

Gala lapsed into a concerned silence.

Finally, she said _You carry the fate of us all, Serenity. You are never helpless…and you are never alone…you have me._

…

**Author's Note: **Hi everybody!!!! How'd you like my first real action/romance chapter? It's my longest update and I hope you've enjoyed it. The romance isn't very stressed as I am still not very good at writing romance scene but it is very much implied. Question is: Is Serenity ever going to open her heart again? And if she does, to whom will it be? I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on this. I know who she's going to end up with but I'm going to see if you can guess it. And it probably won't be revealed until later on. One hint, all the candidates are already introduced in the story, so I don't think you'll have a hard time guessing.

This oneshot also answers the question about whom Serenity has lost besides her parents. It not only causes her pain mentally, but also physically. If you paid attention, this kind of foreshadows what's actually going to happen in the end. And the dreams, though I've never mentioned this before, are just Serenity's premonition about the Deatheater uprising and the chaos they're causing and kind of her premonition about what's going to happen later.

Anyhow, PLEASE PLEASE review this!!! I spent painstaking hours writing this so please leave some love!!!!! Next chapter will be up sometime at the end of winter break or in the New Year so the next time I update, it'll be 2007!!!!

May the Force be with you!!!

Linnea


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